Tag Archives: Novel

Review: Repo Virtual

Repo Virtual is the debut novel from Melbourne author Corey J White, published by Tor. It’s unrelated to the trilogy of novels he has released previously (Killing GravityVoid Black Shadow, and Static Ruin, collectively known as The Voidwitch Saga). I’ve reviewed those over on Goodreads, but haven’t posted them here. I’ll get on that in coming days.
A shorter version of this review is also available on Goodreads.

Repo Virtual

Repo Virtual is unapologetically cyberpunk, and with that acceptance of genre will come a lot of familiar features and tropes: the heist, the evil corporation, the Asia in the 21st Century, the virtual reality, the AI… and they’re all here, and they do form the backbone of the novel, but White has built something original on that framework, and updated the genre for the actual 21st Century, not the one being imagined by the cyberpunk pioneers of the 80s. That’s not to say that those 80s influences aren’t here. There’s definitely a debt of gratitude owed to some of the genre’s landmark works, but that’s the nature of genre isn’t it? As I said, unapologetic.

Overall I enjoyed the novel. It hooked me early and I kept making time and making excuses to read it during a pretty busy phase of my life, which is always a good sign. I was invested in the characters, and their fates, and there was an interesting philosophical depth beneath the aesthetic and the action.

(more detail, but no real spoilers, below)

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The heist itself is really just the set-up. It serves to introduce the protagonist, JD, and some of the important people in his life–a friend/colleague from an online gaming world and his step-sibling–but it is over quickly and relatively easily by the end of the first act.

The story really picks up once JD has his hands on the prize and the various forces with an interest in either recovering or receiving it are in motion. In this, Zero Corporation functions in much the way we would expect a Corp to function in a Cyberpunk future, with a profit-driven lack of morality and a single-minded obsession with self. The other player here is Kali, a pseudo-mystical leader of a cult of the disenfranchised in the city’s slums. She’s a little more nuanced, and her connections to JD’s life and relationships a little more complex.

Once the heist is completed JD goes to ground, and White takes a bit of a risk benching his protagonist (and our lens on the world) and introducing a new POV character in Enda. Structurally, this changes the nature of the story and our relationship with it, but it’s well done and the novel is better for it: having multiple perspectives on the world really fleshes it out well, and Enda has her own complex backstory on a more grand scale than JD’s local hustle.

There is a third POV character as well, who is introduced in snippets right from the start but as the plot develops this character increasingly enters and eventually takes over the narration in the 1st person. White’s skill in managing this perspective shift is genuinely impressive and shows both boldness and precision in his craft.

On the downside, the villains of the piece were a little monochrome, their motivations and their methods fairly simplistic. The climax, once in motion, moved a little too smoothly to the resolution. Complicated situations became perhaps too quickly uncomplicated. Moral quandaries are raised and then side-stepped without real angst being required.

That said, White set the stage well and followed through. He’s committed to his take on the genre and on the philosophical questions he’s raising, and he avoids some of the pitfalls of cliche along that path.

I was satisfied with the ending and especially impressed by the epilogue, another bold decision from White to shift the scope of our perspective and to put a genuine full-stop on the story.

I’m looking forward to his next novel now.


The re-write is complete

Phew!

Now that was more an effort than I realised it would be.

I removed about 40,000 words from my manuscript over the past few months. That’s nearly a quarter of its weight!

Many of these were removed on a line-by-line edit: clarifying sentences, dealing death to adjective clusters, seeking out adverbs remorselessly and casting their brutally beaten bodies from my work. I did away with many dialogue tags. I found ways to say with ten words what I had said with twelve or fifteen. I found all of these little slivers of fat that still clung to the meat of my tale and I carved them off with a wicked sharp blade.

Then I had to really get stuck in.

This wasn’t my first pass with the scalpel, and on a project this size trimming fat didn’t shrink the manuscript by the requisite amount, so I started cutting away at the muscle, the flesh, in some cases the connective tissue. That hurt. I lost some good stuff I think. A character was erased from existence. Another had his role cut significantly. Two characters became so peripheral that to survive they had to undergo a melding of bodies and minds and become one. Details were lost, poignant moments, not-quite-salient anecdotes, slightly obscure back-story, geographical references, subtle foreshadowings… but these things ultimately were bloating the story into something more than what it should have been.

So now I have 131,000 words. Still big by the standards of a debut novel, but it’s a manageable big.

I asked a few agents (through the wonder of Twitter) what would be a maximum word-limit they would consider as a submission from an unpublished novelist and the answers were in the range of 140,000 to 150,000. I’m happily below that upper limit, and I’m sure the manuscript is much better for it.

I said at the outset that my goal here was not necessarily to become a professional writer, not even necessarily to become published, though both of those are measures of success. My goal is to become a better writer, and whatever comes as an outcome of this process I feel that the process has already achieved some success toward that goal. I made brutal decisions, but they were the right ones. Some years ago, perhaps even some months ago, I would have baulked those decisions, and I would have remained in a comfort zone of bloat and easy-living. That is not a good place for a writer to remain.

I also now have a much clearer delineation of writing and editing. When I was starting I would open the document and start editing the material I had just written the day before, and so writing was a crawl. I would write a couple of hundred words in a day, but then spend a day or two editing those before adding another couple of hundred and restarting the edit process. It’s a dysfunctional approach. It’s the wrong one. To borrow from Chuck Wendig:

“Writing is when we make the words. Editing is when we make the words not shitty.”

I believe I have done that. I believe my words are not shitty.

And now? Now I get the query letter dressed up. Now I nail that synopsis. Now I go back to Chapter One, Page One, Paragraph One, Word One. Now I make that opening irresistible. Because this week the queries go out (agents be warned) and I think I’ve got a good chance now of putting my best foot forward. That might or might not lead somewhere, but at least I’ll be stepping out knowing I’ve put the work in to make it possible.

 


The continuing importance of editing

I’m under 150,000 words now on the continuing project to bring my manuscript down to a publishable size. Given that the upper limits (especially for an unpublished author) are in the 130 – 140k range I still have some work ahead of me, but I feel it’s going well.

Most of the words cut so far came from some major changes:

I cut a character. In one sense he was minor, but I had a plan to develop him much further later in the story. When some of that got chopped he became even less significant in his earlier scenes, and so, brutally, I cut him. Not an early death… he never existed.

I have restructured the opening chapters. Originally they were all weighing in between 3 and 4 thousand words and most had more than one narrative POV, so I changed the structure of the chapters to have each be a single narrative POV. They’re shorter, punchier and arranged so that there is a more logical flow. I think it has done wonders for my pacing and has  also removed the last vestiges of their being a really clear dominant POV character, so that now several POV characters each progress the narrative and each give us insights into the events from their own perspective.

I also restructured the plot in the opening, partly to facilitate the narrative changes, and partly to streamline the plot. In one chapter in particular the various changes I had made over time had caused a great deal of confusion. This chapter was (and is) a crucial nexus for the characters and I think it now does a better job of drawing the threads together and scattering them, where before it just drew them in and left me with an ugly tangled mess.

So the process is a positive one. I have lost a lot of words to the cutting-room floor and many of these I believe were quite good ones. I’ve lost scenes I liked, because they no longer were needed, or no longer made sense. I’ve lost some nice prose, some sharp dialogue, some insights into the characters and how they maintain themselves in the world… but in return I’ve got a leaner, fitter plot, I have thinned out some of the exposition chunks into a nice exposition stew (there’s a better metaphor for that I’m sure. Perhaps I’m hungry? Certainly I’m tired).

So I need to cut at least another 10,000 or so, possible 15,000, and I’ve made the major changes. I’m back to the start and going through, chapter by chapter, finding superfluity and error. It’s difficult and at times tedious, but it’s necessary and ultimately a very positive thing. Today I cut 750 words from a chapter. That’s probably a higher than average edit.

If I can cut 500 words from every chapter by this process I’ll get to the end of the book having carved out another 17,000 words or so, and I’ll be right on target!


Product over profile

For a while now (read several weeks) I’ve been devoting myself to refining my product and this has come at the expense of my profile, on this website, on Facebook, on Twitter, etc… There really is too few hours for me each day at the moment.

The deadline looms for me to have that product ready though. I’ll be attending my first writers’ convention in one week’s time. Flights are booked, accommodation too. I have  some acquaintances with whom I’ll be able to become more acquainted, some twitterati who I will be able to meet IRL, and hopefully there will be new and interesting people for me to meet, with whom to share ideas, discuss our shared and varied experiences of writing, etc…

That said, one highlight for me will be the opportunity to pitch my novel manuscript. It’ll be a verbal pitch, five minutes in a tight schedule where I and presumably many other hopefuls will be trying to convince an agent (or editor, but I have preferenced agents) that we might be worth doing business with.

Worst case scenario it’s a ‘thanks, but…’ response, and I’m tying to establish that as the default expectation, not in a cynical way but in a realist way. Expectations and hopes vary though, and I hope I get a great response and a request for a full manuscript… in which case I better have one to provide which is polished to the point of shining with brilliance.

Now having said all that I’m reminded of some wisdom that came to me via twitter from the dark and twisted (but no less wise for that) mind of Chuck Wendig. Conventions should not be about schlepping the goods and forging commercial interaction protocols. They should be about meeting people as people, not as cogs in an industrial writing complex (or publishing receptacles). Sure that industrial side of the pursuit is there, let’s not be naive, but I’m kinda looking forward to just meeting people and sharing ideas.

Product over profile, people over platforms, proficiency over publication.

Always remember that my stated goal is not to be a published writer (that’s easy enough these days if you have enough spare cash and low enough standards) but to be a good writer (or at least a better one than I was yesterday).


Query Letters

Query letters are hard!

Sure there’s plenty of sites that give you some advice*, and often agents have blogs where they explain what thye like or don’t in a query letter. Often though these contradict, and what one agent recommends another despises. Sometimes the same agent will advise against something in early posts and change their view over time. Other times there’ll be a query letter that breaks all the ‘rules’ and yet gets the desired attention.

So here’s my (humbly submitted) take on query letters:

They have one purpose – get you to the next step. 

This sounds simple (I hope), but it sometimes gets lost in the minutiae. Query letters are a tool with a purpose. That purpose is to intorduce yourself and your work and get someone interested enough to want to read more. That doesn’t make them simple to produce, but it needs always to be the guiding principle. All the other rules and recommendations support this goal, but they are subservient to it. If you break all the rules and yet someone is interested enough in your letter to want more, then it’s a good letter. If you follow all the rules meticulously and get a dozen rejections before someone wants to see more, it’s still a good letter; it’s served its purpose.

They need to be honest.

I think query letters are a case of don’t try to please everyone. If your query letter does a good job of introducing you and your work then consider it a success. If it gets rejected that doesn’t mean the letter’s not a successful letter. It might mean that the agent or publisher you queried is not a good fit for you, or for your work. There’s nothing to be gained from a query that represents you or your work as any way other than truthfully. If an agent does make a request based on that query they’ll soon find out that your chapters or your manuscript aren’t exactly what they were looking for anyway. That’s another rejection and back to square one. All you’ve gotten is false hope and it’s cost you time when you could have been finding an agent that wants to work with you.

They need to show your talents.

It’s not just about your work; it’s not just about your bio. It’s a combination of both, and it’s also a kind of demonstration piece. Being able to explain your novel succinctly shows you have a plan, and a structure. Being able to attract interest shows that you have the hook, or point-of-difference, that will make your work marketable. Being able to discuss your work as a product shows that you consider yourself a professional. Being able to write an engaging and interesting letter shows that you have the command of the language to write engaging and interesting prose.

I found that breaking the query letter down into these three focus points helped me cut out a lot of unnecessary plot synopsis and really hone in on what was important. I don’t know if it will work yet, but I’m a lot happier with what I have now than what I first sent out.

This is a query letter I had for a while and submitted to a couple of agents. It relates to my novel Exile, and it was not successful. I’ve changed it because it’s not honest. Reading it I get the wrong impression about who is the protagonist of the novel (Duc Abastille isn’t introduced until about a third of the way through the novel).

I was too focussed on exposition of back-story that I barely introduced the characters which my novel is about. I think it’s an engaging query (but I’ll let you judge that), and some of it I’ve retained for the revised queries, but it is not an honest one.

Specific Agent

Specific Agency

Address

As a young man Gerard Abastille was an acclaimed hero of the Battle of Three Fords. His victory brought peace to the warring families of Alterre, and brought him the noble title of Duc… but that was seventy years ago. Now Duc Abastille is old and the peace he won is worn and brittle. When his sons are killed in suspicious circumstances he is left without an heir, and his legacy is threatened. He suspects his old enemy Jarl Blodax, but in the internecine politics of Alterre no one can be fully trusted.

Jacqueline, only daughter of Duc Abastille, has been disowned for her love of the commoner Selwyn. Together in exile, they have raised a family beyond the borders of Alterre, but their past is not so easily left behind. When become victims of a broader conflict their children are thrust unprepared into a brutal world. Rymon must conform to a role demanded of him by his birth, Marianne must find her place in a world that treats her as chattel, and Jolyon must somehow overcome his guilt and perhaps find a way to bring his family back together.

EXILE is a Fantasy with minimal, ambiguous references to magic and non-human races. The morality is gray, and while the setting is epic in scale the plot is focussed on the narratives of Selwyn and Jacqueline’s surviving children, not the fate of the world. It is complete at 241,000 words. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

* Some of the linked sites here are for cover letters, not query letters. Cover letters are usually either for short fictions (and therefore you’re sending the whole story so a synopsis is, in a sense, redundant), or will accompany a synopsis and/or sample chapters. There’s plenty of other sites too. Google ‘how to write a query letter’ and you’ll have more to options than you know what to do with.